Northern Beardy Twat is a Twat

Northern Beardy Twat's girlfriend looked slightly more suicidal than usual as she pulled my pint. I asked her if she was alright. She told me that as of yesterday at eleven o'clock she was officially single. I told her that Northern Beardy Twat was a twat. She told me she loved him and her eyes filled with tears as she ran off to the washing-up room leaving my pint stranded behind the bar. But he is a twat!!!